To the Weary Hearted Mum

“As women, our emotions run high and deep, far and wide, and they are never more stretched and tested than in situations regarding our children. Thank God for your womanly wiring – it’s a gift he’s entrusted to you. And allow your most sensitive days to dig sparkling wells in your soul.” (Caron Loveless)

 

As I type this, it is with puffy eyes and a weary sigh of mothering battles from the growing ones. Times like these, I wonder why God made woman with so much intensity of emotions that summons a torrent of involuntary waves that flood. Why can’t I respond objectively to the fights that occur? They are but children. I shared about the blows and blessings of boys.

Last round, I said Hi to Graffalo, asked why he was visiting and calmly bade him goodbye. This time, I remain chill on the outside while battling my own graffalo in the inside. Cut the story short, these weeks have been a daily struggle to rise up above our family’s shortcomings.

With social media, there are so many opinions and schools of thoughts on how to raise a successful child. I do not consider myself as a ‘successful’ parent. It is neither my goal to raise one. A peek into a forum of mothers who exchanged heated comments because one thinks teaching children is a must while the other camp thinks parenting is about modeling and children should be respected even when they are not inclined to be polite. Others prefer schooling, some unschooling, so on and so forth. Exchanges of the qualifications of the mothers took place. No doubt, our qualifications might be rendered important in society’s standards, but to the matter of mothering? I dare say the generations before us were none the worse without the degrees and PHDs in child education, neither does it mean being more experienced with your own children earns you the right to boast of one’s methods. As I pondered over the different schools of thoughts, I asked myself, what is the basis of such arguments or opinions based on?

I conclude that as long as it is biblical, God-centred (not child/parent or individual centred per say) I can embrace and learn from them and ignore the rest. My only goal is to raise our children to know Who Jesus is and walk in His way. Our prayer that they will take Him personally as their Saviour and Lord. In the midst of this goal, I often get discouraged by the setbacks in their lives. Often than not, guilt, self -blame and discontentment weighed my heart down and shackled up joy. This time round was no different. It was made worse when a close, well-meaning loved one remarked on how they would become worse as teenagers that got my faith plummeting down again. Worry and fret over their future started to well up my fears and tears, until a colleague encouraged my heart to be steadfast in the Lord.

She then shared her story of how God is faithful in bringing her through decades of raising her special child. What my child/ren are going through, it is something that this child MUST go through.

It is his cross to bear, just as it is my cross to bear in parenting them. We are but stewards of his Sovereign plan. 

We are not called to raise successful and well behaved children per say (though that would be nice!). We are called to serve the Lord. We are called to fulfil His purposes in His time. We are called to humble ourselves before Him. It does not matter how many times Graffalo jumps out, it matters how our family responds when it does appear. Do your family struggle with a Graffalo of your own?

How can we respond?

1. Draw near to God 

If not for such womanly wirings moments, I would be self sufficient and sitting on my own super self throne patting myself a supermum job I am doing.

The Lord loves you and I too much to let us be self sufficient. We were made to draw near to Him alone and be satisfied by Him alone.

 Come near to God and he will come near to you. James 4: 8

But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.  Psalm 73: 28

My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
Your face, Lord, I will seek. Psalm 7: 4

2. Set our Hope on Him

I was reminded how our hope should not be set on our children’s behaviours or successes. It should be set on Christ alone. Set in Eternal Perspective on His second Coming.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.  Hebrews 11:6

Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming.  1Peter 1:13

You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory. Psalm 73: 24

3. Trust in Him

Trusting God for the future and trusting Him to fulfil His promises allows us to be set free from fretful and fearful (or kiasu) living.

So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
 in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

4. Be faithful in Prayer

Remember to take time to pray by the power of the Holy Spirit to cover our family and friends by the blood of the Lamb. We wrestle not with flesh and blood but the evil principalities of this world. (Ephesians 6:12)

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Ephesians 6: 18

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12

5. Be Patient

Patience to Wait out in God’s timing. He makes all things beautiful in His time.

“The key to everything is Patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.” arnold H. Glasow

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 5:3

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. Galatians 6:9-10

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As I cried within me these weeks of turmoil, I realised such womanly wirings are built in us for a purpose. We are not meant to go through life alone. We were meant to go through together with the faithful right hand of our Heavenly Father drawing us closer to Him in love.

So that You (and I) will Come to the Father.

 

²⁵ Whom have I in heaven but you?
    And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
²⁶ My flesh and my heart may fail,
    but God is the strength of my heart
    and my portion forever.

Psalm 73:24-26

To all the weary hearted mums, come away, find rest in God alone.

Our children belong to the creator who loves each child more than you and I.

Let Him do His marvellous work in our Lives as we refresh our spirits in His presence.

May Your heart be refreshed and have courage to Grow On! : )

Other related posts:

• Peek-a-Day when I was a stay at home mum 
• I Will Survive (Stay at home mum tips)
• How to Help restless feet, itchy fingers and wandering minds.

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